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28 September 2006 @ 04:31 pm
Fic (of a sort); "Staff Meeting", Emma, Kitty, Scott, Piotr.  
Title: Staff Meeting
Author: sionnain
'Verse: Astonishing X-Men, set following the Gifted arc.
Characters: Emma, Kitty, Scott and Piotr. References canon pairings.
Rating: E
Challenge: #29: Letters
Summary: Emma sends an email to see why Kitty missed their morning staff meeting. Kitty doesn't quite care for Emma's tone.

AN: Written for this week's xmenflashfic Challenge: Letters. Thanks to carlos_thedwarf for reading this one over for me. :)



From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: Staff Meeting

We missed you at the staff meeting this morning, Katherine. Is there a reason why you were not present?

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Staff Meeting

Gee, sorry, I guess I forgot to set my alarm after finding my former boyfriend who I thought was dead alive and being held prisoner by some kind of government whack-jobs. Oh, and the space alien. Don’t forget the space alien.

I’ll be at the next one.

--Kitty

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Staff Meeting

There’s no need to be sarcastic, Katherine. I was merely concerned that perhaps you were unwell.

Believe me, I shall not be forgetting the space alien anytime soon.

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: Riiight.

Sure, Emma.

Ord probably feels the same way about you and that outfit you were wearing. Did you miss the memo about the black leather and the clothes that cover your vulnerable areas? Or, like, any of your areas?

--Kitty.

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Riight.

I have no idea why my simple inquiry has angered you so, but if you’re feeling some residual anger about Piotr’s apparent death and subsequent “rebirth”, I suggest you find a healthier way to take this out rather than on an innocent bystander.

And darling, the reason why I wore that outfit is because I could. If you spent more time in the gym and less writing accusatory emails, perhaps you could do the same.

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: RE:RE: Riight.

Any suggestions on where I may find an “innocent bystander”? Because you certainly weren’t suggesting *you*, were you? And I’d rather suck face with Ord than wear that get-up, thanks.

Just curious--do you just try and sound like a bitch when at all possible? Or is just natural? I’m beginning to think maybe it’s your actual mutant power. You certainly seem to use it more than the psychic thing. You’d think if you knew how your words effected people, you’d stop talking so much.

--Kitty

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: An article you may find helpful
Attachment: whentofacethefactsandstopblamingothers.doc

You may perhaps find the attached article about how to stop projecting your own thoughts and feelings on others quite helpful. I suggest you print it out.

And it’s affected. Don’t type angry, darling. You only look foolish and rather uneducated. We do live in a school, after all, and should set a better example.

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: RE: An article you may find helpful

I’m tired of this email exchange. So I’m going to end it.

All I have to say is, if Scott ever comes back from the dead you *better* be at the staff meeting the very next morning. Aliens or no.

--Kitty

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: This does not look like “ending this email exchange” to me.

Honestly, Katherine. If Scott should happen to die or become otherwise incapacitated, do you actually think I’m going to insist on having staff meetings?

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: RE: This does not look like “ending this email exchange” to me.

Who said you get to be in charge if anything happens to Scott?

--Kitty.

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: Actually…

Charles Xavier.

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: FrostE@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Actually….

How do I know you’re not mind-controlling him?

For that matter, how do I know you’re not mind controlling everyone here?

--Kitty.

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: And this is my last word on the matter.

Because, darling, if I were mind-controlling Scott and his policies for running this Institute, we would not have staff meetings, and if we did, they would not be so ungodly early. And we wouldn’t have those horrible pastries that are to be fixed in the toaster, the ones that make such a mess. Nor would we, at this very moment, have a box of White Zinfandel in the fridge.

If I were really running things, you’d know it.

--E.

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: SummersS@xavier.org
Subject: Staff Meeting

Hey, Scott.

I’m sorry I missed the staff meeting this morning. I’m just a little freaked out about…everything that happened. I’ll be at the next one, promise.

--Kitty

PS: If I ever find that the boxed wine and the Pop-tarts are gone, I’m going to smack you and you have to believe me that it’s for a good reason, okay? It’ll be because someone’s invaded your mind. Trust me.

From: SummersS@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Staff Meeting

No problem, Kitty. I know it’s been tough on everyone, and you most of all. I’m sort of familiar with the whole “ex coming back to life” thing. Believe me. Take your time and remember we’re here for you.

Scott

PS: I’ll keep that in mind about the wine and the Pop-Tarts? Maybe take it easy for the rest of the day, okay?

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: Honestly

I threw the boxed wine away because it had been in the fridge since that open house event we hosted in the spring, and no one (thank God) drinks it. You’ll notice, Katherine, the toaster pastries are still in the pantry.

Your pointing at me and accusing me of treacherous and devious activities at breakfast this morning was rather amusing, though. I do believe I am the only one who thought so. Scott certainly wasn’t amused. He thinks you’re quite mad.

--E.

From: SummersS@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: This week

I think you may need to take the week off from teaching and training duties, Kitty. Just until you’re feeling more yourself, and less inclined to accuse other team members of duplicity over coffee.

Remember to let us know if you need anything.

Scott

From: PrydeK@xavier.org
To: RasputinP@xavier.org
Subject: Sneaky

Guess who just got a week off to spend with you? :-)

PS: Did you ever notice Emma’s email addy here is “Frosty at Xavier’s”? Isn’t that just the most appropriate thing ever?

--Kitty

From: RasputinP@xavier.org
To: PrydeK@xavier.org
Subject: RE: Sneaky

Clever, Katya.

No, I had not realized. Though you are the computer genius.

Yes, though, it is very funny.

From: FrostE@xavier.org
To: SummersS@xavier.org
Subject: Staff Emails

The next time you have a problem with a staff member missing a meeting, YOU are dealing with it, Summers. Unless they need their mind altered as punishment (yes, I know, you’re still not in line with my system of discipline), forget having me do any administrative duties that involve emailing one Katherine Pryde.

You owe me one. I expect something from you later. Many, many somethings.

Emma
 
 
touring: : work
always been so: : sillysilly
rock and roll is: : elliot smith, son of sam
 
 
 
resolute on September 28th, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC)
Having cranky afternoon, stop.

Send funny fic, stop.

Funny fic recieved, stop.

Strike the orders for the maimings, stop.

/grin
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
*giggles* glad you liked :)
pete and gabe's collaborative dicks: kitty prydeinlovewithnight on September 28th, 2006 09:53 pm (UTC)
::hearts::

Made of awesome.
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
Thankee :) I had fun with this one. :)
penknife: schoolpenknife on September 28th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
Hee! Love it.

They'll all know that Emma's been mind-controlled if she ever drinks the boxed wine.
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
Haha, seriously! I think she'd rather die, or at least be shattered in her diamond form again, than drink boxed wine.


Thank you for reading!! I liked that prompt lots :)
wolvsterwolvster on September 28th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
I love it!
Very funny!

Oh and the moment I read 'effected' I thought; 'It's 'affected'' and like two seconds later I read Emma's comment on it, that made me laugh out loud :D
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
Hee! I had to warn Eric "when you see a typo with "effected" it's on purpose."
Not that Kitty's an idiot, but I think she was so angry she just wasn't thinking. *g*

(no subject) - resolute on September 28th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - resolute on September 28th, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - resolute on September 28th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooncatx on September 28th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - resolute on September 28th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooncatx on September 28th, 2006 11:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - resolute on September 29th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
lonelywalker: god amongst insectslonelywalker on September 28th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
"It's funny because it's true" has never been so apt.

Seriously, most bosses I've had wouldn't allow me to miss a staff meeting even if I was busy stopping an alien invasion.
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
*G* No kidding! My Psycho-Ex Boss would have been like, "Well, that's what HAPPENS when you are a superhero, Shannon!"

*giggles*

Thank you for reading! That prompt was really fun :)
The Mad Fan Girl: 12fullmetal_cute on September 28th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
hehehehe. And once again, despite appearances otherwise, Kitty pwns Emma.
inathunderstorm on September 28th, 2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
I think this is the last time Miss Frost will use email to taunt the computer expert. *giggles*
Mama Fortuna: robotheadmama_fortuna on September 28th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC)
*snortcackle*

My favourite line:
If you spent more time in the gym and less writing accusatory emails, perhaps you could do the same.

Emma, you bitch. *loves*
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:28 am (UTC)
Isn't she just HORRIBLE? *g*
you all know me: toughladyoneill on September 28th, 2006 10:35 pm (UTC)
LOLOL That was priceless. :)
(Anonymous) on September 29th, 2006 02:29 am (UTC)
Thank you! Writing Emma is seriously the most fun thing ever :)
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
once again, misfortune has humped my leg.: iBeast yocata_clysmiic on September 28th, 2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
lmao. Dude, you rock.

Those made me chuckle happily not only because they're hilarious, but also because my friend and I pass notes that look exactly like those when we get bored in class. They're usually memos from Jean to Emma, though, and they eventually become horrifyingly out of character and campy. :D

Much love!
lilacsigil: beastlilacsigil on September 29th, 2006 01:24 am (UTC)
iBeast! That's wonderful!
(no subject) - inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
この 闇 の 辺り: the moment we've all been waiting forkokoro_no_yami on September 28th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
Squee!
That has to be the funniest exchange between Emma and Kitty that I've ever seen. And damn, Piotr! It only took me ONE email to notice the "FrostE" thing. Appropriate. ;)

I am begging you to do something like this again sometime in the future. This made my day, seriously.
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
Re: Squee!
Yay! Thank you. I love Emma, and especially I love it when Emma and Kitty are snarking at each other. So I'm sure I shall write some more---thank you so much for the kind words!!
kaz814 on September 28th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
Heee! I love it! :D Fabulous job!
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
Ta, darling! *smooshy hugs*
(Deleted comment)
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
Thank you!! I must admit that writing Emma is seriously one of the most fun things ever :)
anoneknewmoose on September 29th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)
*claps gleefully* That was made of awesome, chica. And yay, comicverse fic in which I have actually read the comic! ^_^
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:33 am (UTC)
Yay! Astonishing is Good Stuff, ain't it? *g*

Thank you!
Humble Gerbil: X-Men Emma Killer Queenharmonyangel on September 29th, 2006 12:24 am (UTC)
*giggles uncontrollably* That was awesome. I love devious!Kitty and everything with the poptarts and boxed wine. You make me realize why I love this particular X-team so very, very much.
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:34 am (UTC)
Thank you!! I really do think that Emma did away with the boxed wine out of aestheticism. Or a word like that, but spelled correctly. *g*

(Deleted comment)
inathunderstorm on September 29th, 2006 02:34 am (UTC)
Aw, schucks. Thanks :)